what the f*ck is wrong...

well, things started off pretty good in my new environment in my work, i'm not sure if it's me or what, why the catastrophe always comes near where i feel comfortable. i love my current job, i am enjoying the parts and bits of what i am doing, but why does someone else in the same boat have to rock it and make turbulence. what the f*ck is wrong with these ppl. Don't they have grace, don't they have a brain, don't they have the urgency of profesionality, don't they have courtesy so say sorry when they are wrong.

what they have are the blood stain ass of pride and mannes ego that is so big that clouds their mind and judgement. i always thought that woman take a little more effort to comfort and please, but then only i figure out, ass wiping men are worst, they are like babies with their napies and don't even know what is the meaning of self esteem, to chase after the life that dreams can only come true if they work harder, but no, they decided to push pen around rather than figure out how it works. Never in their lives that they thought that with a little more effort, just a little more, they can achieve more than the average push cart fella stacking trolley in the mall. Maybe those ppl can do better in their job than those of my known crowd. Go cry to your mommy and daddy, work is cruel, life is cruel, survival of the fittest wins and i intend to win, i am no loser in life and i don't plan it to be so. Don't make me lift my finger as i don't intend to. But don't make me, once i do, there will be no more honeymoon for you, ever....i promise...

what are you worth....

am i just too realistic of a guy or am i just an arsehole? a good question that keep bogging in my mind that kept me awake most of my night last night.

Does all girl have a mind of their own or do they really see the future? do maybe i plan to front for the future that i restrain myself for thing to happen or even too controlling that it makes sense to give myself a smack in the head.

sometimes i wonder why do i even want to argue over a dress which is over less than a hundred? hence the question i have when i begin this post. Why can't i just be so happy, willingly and being a bf and say words of angels and buy it for her, why do i have to just be the arsewipe and created a tornado for myself which ended up, looking at the ceiling rethinking about how life sux to the max when that happens during the night...i am speechless when she throw those words that i could not have imagine being spoken to me.

"if you can't even do those simple stuff, why do i even need you for?
should i even be dwelling upon those words?focus on something else n not think about it....

crap, i need to work n get this out of my mind....*fxxk..

At the bottom of the a dustbin...

Smelly place ain't it being at the bottom of the dustbin...crap i feel totally like that when i woke up this morning. had a quite weird argument/small fight with my other half last night, didn't get resolved then and there, so the feeling was pinching me even when i woke up this morning. Adding salt to the wound, i misinterpreted some info from my client yesterday, my boss was questioning about why i got it so wrong, i felt that i am pretty useless, crap. how can it go so wrong suddenly and *bo0p i feel like i'm falling endlessly to a deep deep whole....

HELP! *echoes.....

am trying very hard to cheer myself up, although my gf sms me saying everything is okay, she felt better after a good night sleep, the stench is still there, and the bitter taste at the edge of your mouth...felt like i have fought a battle and lost it totally, fatality. sigh....